Hot Stalker: A Love Story (sort of)
The recent "meet-cute" moment that led to my decision to ditch the dating apps for good after 10 years of begrudgingly being on them
If my life were a romcom this would for sure be my “meet-cute” moment that led to us falling in love and it would have gone something like this…
Prefer to listen to this story? Click below for the audio version:
sadyeevyn.substack.com/podcast.
PART 1 | If My Life Were a RomCom
Sooo, I met a guy! Sort of.
It was at SacYard, my go-to social stomping grounds, and we came out of the restroom—he from the men’s on the right, me from the women’s on the left—at the exact same time.
At first we were awkwardly facing each other, as if about to duel, before eventually bellying up beside one another at the communal bathroom sink.
If that’s not romantic, I don’t know what is.
“Shit, he’s cute,” I thought, “like, really cute—and no ring! That never happens.”
Cue nervous sweating.
If my life were a romcom this would for sure be my “meet-cute” moment that led to us falling in love and it would have gone something like this:
A guy and a gal meet at the communal bathroom sink of a local bar, exchange excited glances and nervous smiles in the mirror, along with a quick “hi, hello!”, then both reach for the soap dispenser at the same time, hands grazing ever so slightly, skin suddenly buzzing.
“Whoa, what was that?!” she’d think to herself, a sweet rosy flush taking hold of her cheeks.
They’d turn to their respective paper towel dispensers, dry their hands then pause—each giving the other one more smile in the mirror—before walking away, never knowing whether that buzz was a fluke or if it could be something more. If they could be something more.
But just as they were about to part—he to his friends, she to hers—he’d turn back and say, “You have a really nice smile, by the way.” She’d smile (naturally) and say, “Thanks, I like yours too.” There’s that rosy flush again.
And without missing a beat, he’d introduce himself, “Hi, I’m Tom,” as he put forth his hand to shake hers, confirming that the buzz was in fact not a fluke. “I’m Sadye,” she’d reply, holding his gaze long after their hands had released.
They’d forgo their friends and find a table of their own, laughing and smiling freely as they talked and shared stories, getting to know each other a little more with each tale. Neither of them wanting the night to end, while both knowing this was just the beginning…
Ahhhhhh…alas, my life isn’t a romcom (sigh), but the real bathroom sink encounter I had was damn near close and it’s a big part of why I’ve decided to swear off dating apps FOR GOOD, after 10 years of begrudgingly being on them.
Here’s what actually happened with my “meet-cute” man…
PART 2 | The Real Story
“That’s okay,” he replied. “I’ve always wanted a hot stalker.”
Where were we? Ah yes, the bathroom sink…
We both turned toward the sink, and while there wasn’t any “hand grazing”—we each had our own soap dispensers—there was definitely a buzz and a lot of smiles exchanged in the mirror.
He said, “Hi, how’s it going?” to which I mumbled something inaudible, but resembling “hey,” my face immediately turning red (and not a cute rosy hue, like my romcom alter ego).
Meanwhile, the voice in my head screaming “OH. MY. GAWWWD, SADYE. WHY ARE YOU SO AWKWARD?!!!!” Those real life flirting skills clearly still rusty, post-pandemic.
We exchanged a few more glances and “have a nice day” niceties before moving on. And that was that. Or so I thought…
He walked away first and was heading in the same direction I was, so I followed in his footsteps. Literally.
It didn’t occur to me how strange that might’ve seemed, until I noticed him slow his pace and hesitantly look over his shoulder.
I immediately froze, flushed (again, not the cute kind) and with my eyes open wide and hands raised in surrender, I laughed and said, “I swear I’m not following you!”
“That’s okay,” he replied. “I’ve always wanted a hot stalker.” He laughed coyly and a flirtatious grin spread across his face, reaching up to his eyes, lighting those up as well.
God, I love when that happens.
You know, when a guy smiles and it causes his crows feet to crinkle and his eyes to twinkle and then your single, horny heart suddenly melts into a puddle right then and there? Gahhhhhh, so hot!
Generally, I feel like that type of smile is an indication that they’re loving and kind and have a good heart.
But then again, it could also be an indication that they’re a serial killer psychopath who’s just really good at fooling lonely, single women into thinking they’re loving and kind and have a good heart, all so they can chop them up into little pieces before dropping each one into the bottom of a lake.
Damn you, murder mystery thriller novels for getting in my head and messing with my very own romcom!
Anyway…
So there we were, laughing—flirting?—both unsure as to what to do next.
In hindsight, I wish I’d seized the moment and introduced myself, maybe even told him he had a nice smile (because he really, really did).
But I didn’t, and unlike my romcom fantasy, he turned to who I presume was his young daughter and I continued on to rejoin my friends.
As he and his little one left, we were both still smiling, still stealing glances at one another, when he paused one last time, giving me a final “make your heart race” and “knees shake” kind of grin, before walking entirely out of sight.
And that was that. For reals this time.
Not quite a meet-cute, but damn near close. And even though I didn’t catch his name and we didn’t talk the night away, it gave me hope. It’s almost like the universe winked and said, “Trust me, he’s out there and here’s a glimpse of the feeling you’ll have when the two of you finally do meet.”
“He” being my person—my lover, soulmate, partner, best friend—not necessarily Tom (or whatever his real name was) from my quasi-fictional tale.
And so it goes: I’m still single, yet hopeful—forever the romcom-loving romantic at heart who hates dating apps and longs for an old-fashioned meet-cute moment of my own.
Someday.
Until then, I’m leaning into what I’ve known in my heart for a very long time: he’s not on an app. Or at least, that’s not where I’m going to meet him.
So this year, I’ve decided to experiment with forgoing the dating apps and focusing instead on putting my energy towards the things that truly light me up and bring me joy. Essentially, living my life for ME, rather than forcing a connection with yet another stranger from an app who I’d never actually be interested in if we had met randomly in real life.
As I’m sure you could imagine, there’s a whole heck of a lot more to this story—like 10 YEARS worth of my own dating data and insights—so stay tuned for that follow up and be sure to hit “SUBSCRIBE” so you don’t miss it…
xx
Sadye
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This was too good and did not end at all the way I thought. Love love!! Happy adventuring and soul finding sis ✨✨